do u agree my theory?

14th of November, 4am. I still can't slp, due of i can't accept the "facts". Anyway, Today is Looi Siew Yee's birthday. wish siew yee happy birthday.
it's been 5 months. frankly speaking, i kinda tired of living in "polluted" city. no matter i try my best to communicate with them, try to get closer with them, and yet, i only can feel of the gap is getting widen. such a pity incident. "my parent's thought u wan propose me" "i got bf, and he dun like u call often" "i dun like to chat with chess freak" PUI!!! crap! it's all nonsense. BL, TJH, PJH, KL, and all buddy, do u agree?
i kinda disappointed of wat tracy, vivian & eve's think, it's sickening me, i know tis were not a professional's think, but, i think they shouldn't think things badly.
in these 5 month, i had sacrifice my time, money, and spirit, try my best to communicate with them, try to closer with them with my sincerity. i try to spend more my time to learn certain things i should learn, included IT. i had stopped my business for couple of months, and changed to postpaid, and changed to office job, it make me really uncomfortable. i used to equipped bluetooth everyday, but now i really not fitted yet. no matter how i bz, i'm sure i'll care every1 i concern. i'm keep trying to improved myself to become person more professional in many ways, was just for ppl i care, but the didn't accept my help, afterall. well, it's bad result. it only widen the gap between those with me.
only few person had closed with me after i tried my best. chi wai, jun hui, was few of them. since last year, i had lost control and finally i broke friendship with chi wai. i really thx of his forgiveness and we still can chat as usual. haha, everyday scold tis scold tat, make me feel like brother's argue. yeah, last few day was my "dai lou" jun hui birthday, i had long time nvr c he can make some joke. of coz included raymond chow, ryan wong, chin kuan, jackson, and most of them. i really grateful of ken low, my tmn yarl classmate & chessplayer. he was 1 of my gd friend. he inform me instantly as he changed his new number, he always did things initialtive. really proud of have such nice friend. i think tis wat we called "brothers".
last month, i visit jeffrey, action staff, my ex-employer, i used to under jeffrey bout 1 year. wat he told me was right, "while we boys try his best to get closer with the girl he likes by do watever positives, the gril still won't realised and instead she will go looking for other guy and stick the fellow. girls always say 1 then do other 1, it won't changed. example of 'girl say may willing of try to create love feeling by start new relationship life but she refused to do it when it really start'" ya, it true also, tat's wat i think all the time. i ask him when he married with his gf, then he only said when relationship get closer until max lvl then married. oh boy, he had "pak toh" for long time ady lor...
i wonder wat yong ting doing? was she done well? who knows? i had stop contact with her since broke friendship wuth her 8years ago. she's the 1 who advice me to have positive thinking, i really useless... i still can't acheived it. alice yee? fuck her off la!!! i can't stand of lying story she create. if she not owe my money, i wont talk with her. she is SOTB!
these few months, i stop to listen the chinese song "little dimples", and instead i listen japanese song, "rage your dream", the only japanese song i can understand much. i keep listen rage your dream, coz, it keep remind me to keep my works to achieve wat i wan. although my dream have a lot, and sometimes i also feel despair, but i'll regain my spirit as i chat with elise, cindy, chin wai, and few, or when i listen "rage your dream". and sometimes, i'll yell "I WANNA RAGE MY DREAM!"
chi wai, relationship is quite commotion de la. i also experienced b4, wat i can advice u, try dun overfocus on it like wat i did now as it may affect ur study. even i had feel of wanted have a nice gf, i only can wait. further more, recently some of my friend always moody, everyday i had try to advice them. how come i got extra time to find gf?
as u know, my bike just changed new tyre, but, becoz i really can't face the "fact" just now, which was "while we boys try his best to get closer with the girl he likes by do watever positives, the gril still won't realised and instead she will go looking for other guy and stick the fellow. girls always say 1 then do other 1, it won't changed." i were hoping of she give me chance to let me try my best to propose her, but she refused through phone. i really stunned...
i really cant face the "fact" twice, i went out with bike, keep cycle everywhere, from oug to happy garden, then to sri petaling. keep exhaust my energy. frankly speaking, i really hate girls lying. y they wanted to lie? i really dun get it. if i lie with u, u also bo shuang, right? then, when i realised, i crashed again. while downhill, i brake and turn left and created "understeer". holy shit! it doesn't obey me and crashed to road. luckily i still ok. i know i'm too emo, but, my spirit is weak...
later, i'll go to school for wat jun hoe n ken call "gathering". hope i can meet every1 i wish to c.
at last, - BRUDDER, LET's RAGE OUR DREAM! -