Sunday, November 13, 2011

伤心的一晚...

今天11月12号, maybank有举办annual dinner位于putrajaya.原本大家都乐得不像话,然而我的中学同学兼同事-jiang shen,他注意到了我的心情,并邀我去某个角落方便交谈.而我的心情源头就从这开始:

从7点我在外面等一个人,至于是谁我不想再提了.我怕她会有意外,所以我便打了电话给她,由于她没接,我打了另一通后就只好乖乖等,因为我真的非常怕她会觉得烦.然而,已经8点多了,她依然还没到,我又忍不住打了约2通,当然,她没有接,我的同事janet就叫我再打给她,不过我没有再打,因为我大约猜到她已经很烦,也很讨厌我了,这时,其实我已经很伤心了,不过我强忍,不想露出来,我很想亲手把我的礼物交给她,希望她能原谅我.过后我真的看到她了,我很紧张,很想把我想说的话说给她听.可是她有意推辞,并去找其他人,这个先前我没有注意到她有意推辞,并打了约几通电话以及几个sms,过后找她时她就非常生气的骂我.这是我第一次被她骂,还是那么的狠,那时,我已经很想躲开她,我不想她再生气以及不开心了,所以我只好去洗手间,静静的哭泣-我从来没有为一个女生这样哭泣,而她就是第一个女生打破我的冷漠性格.在这几天,我根本无法安心的吃饭以及休息,甚至无法安眠.我一直希望她能原谅我前些日子一直烦她...哭着,我能察觉我的双眼已经很红了,洗脸过后我就尽量扮作若无其事的坐下来.就这样jiang shen察觉到了在交谈里,我很逞强的说我没事,可能他知道我的心情很差了,所以他劝我不要太执着,可是我真的做不到,对我来说,她在我的心中非常重要,我不想连朋友都不能做.他说了就算我的心情很差也好,尽量掩饰,不要影响到其他人.话虽这么说,我真的做不到,纵使我用了约半小时来调整自己的心情,以及停止自己的哭泣,扮作若无其事的坐回原位,有好几个officer都看到我这样也猜到我的心情开始转变.而我,也因为伤心,没有心情再留在那儿而决定提早回家.回来路途,我的脑就只有她,我真的很后悔,很后悔为什么我那么相信她,一直打电话给她?为什么????

Sunday, November 6, 2011

觉得很疲累...有种很想冲去马路中间直到疲累不堪后趴在马路中间,等着命运的制裁...

这种感觉,是我一生人里从来没有的那种感受.我习惯了孤独,创出了孤立的脾性,这除了我的前同事,我的中学挚友外,可说是没有半个人能理解我的个人.我很清楚,我通常很冷漠,除了与友人讨论拍摄的技巧和成果外,很少东西能让我觉得紧张.而今天,有一个人已经打破我的人格,而她就是在其他branch的同事-mei kay.这故事就要从2011年5月23号开始说起:

原本已经没有打算继续在银行工作的我,趁那个星期在年假中,到处走走,顺便想着将来的道路.在星期三,我原本打算去leisure mall逛街,顺便探望姨丈,可是很不巧他因某些事出去了,刚巧我也饿了,所以去银行提款,顺便探望yan hui.由于yan hui很忙,我只是问候几句就道别.当我准备离开银行时,我的眼睛就很自然的转去一个人.而她,就是故事里的主角-mei kay.当时虽然她很忙,不过她不会因为忙碌而失去工作时应有的态度.她不知道我是在其他分行工作,也很有礼貌的向我打招呼.不过这也让我猜到她是form 6毕业和她最近才在银行的工作.在那天,我和她聊了几句后,我便问了她的手机号码,并约她在星期五吃午饭.

在那星期的星期五,我如期来找她吃午饭.她提议要去吃素,因为她想吃河婆擂茶;很不巧那儿的餐厅当天没有做河婆擂茶,所以她只好要"杂饭".在聊天的当儿,我问她为什么要在银行工作.她于是回答说她其实有打算要读college,在银行的工作是因为银行给的福利比较好.然后我有问她,她能不能顶得住顾客的各种问题.我这样问是因为要试探她对于在银行工作所构思出来的感想.可我没想到她的回答是"工作就要预料到顾客的无理取闹,骂粗口,以及各种人身攻击.虽然有时会很辛苦,可是如果这种压力也不能承受的话,以后如果要从事其他行业也肯定失败".(这句如今在我的心还是非常深刻) 而因为这句话,我没想到我还在银行工作.因为她的那句话,已经把我的气馁的感觉消除了.

其后,一直以来我都当她像妹妹那般对待,直到九月之前也偶尔聊天或出来吃饭.在九月,公公去世,而我的心情也从此变化,开始暴躁,犹如每天都想骂人.同事们都看到我的变化也纷纷觉得我的人喜怒无常.可当时哪里有人知道,其实我的心情很灰,很想找人谈心事,可是他们都不会认真听听他人的心声或甚至以开玩笑的态度回答.在公公去世的当晚,我有打电话给她,因为众人当中她是我唯一相信的人.在去柔佛出席公公的葬礼后,我与家人也回去kl,而我也有点担心mei kay,因为在同一天我知道她生病了,我很想探望她,可是我并不敢打电话给她,怕会打扰到她休息...可是从那时开始已经改变了...

而最近,我打电话给她的次数越来越多,这点我最近才留意到了,可是我却控制不到自己,虽然在我的立场,我是很担心她的健康,以及承受工作方面带来的压力,才会导致打电话的次数多了;可是当时我并没有更深的了解在她的立场上,她其实觉得越来越烦,有时更甚至会怀疑为什么我会这样做...还有很多很多的想法我不敢在这儿写...而其后我很后悔,我很想向她道歉...虽然我知道无论怎样做,她肯定不会再原谅我了,可是一天她不肯原谅,我一天不会安乐...一想到这里,我的心犹如万箭穿心的痛苦,觉得很难受...每天我没有食欲,没有精神工作,也因为没有定时吃饭甚至忘记吃饭,最近病了...可是我不想看医生,因为我不想再知道有什么病或要吃什么药,我最讨厌就是吃药了...我宁愿拿年假来休息总好过拿病假.我不会与那些得空没事做就拿病假在家度日的废物相提并论.可是,最近休息并没有把病情转好,反而更甚反胃,失眠,甚至吃下粥都会呕吐!其实这对于我而言,这不是最痛苦;而最痛苦的是mei kay没有原谅我,而越来越讨厌我...她对我而言,不只是普通朋友那么简单,我非常赏识她,非常相信她,有她这么好的朋友是我的福气,或许你们读这个文章时会怀疑我的人,可是这个可是我的心底话,我不想再失去像她这种那么好的朋友...

Thursday, September 8, 2011

the jorney back to batu pahat (6th - 8th September)

on 4th of September, after having photo shooting with client, i sit around mid valley and have a tea time. then i received a call from father, and i know of my grandpa had passed away. it a shock news for me, though i'm sad, yet, i had to get back to work on monday, since i still not yet know exact things like ceremony, etc. on monday night, i spend some time and work with william until 8pm, for settle my stuffs.

on tuesday, 6/9, we start the journey from 9am, yet due to the car overheat, we'd to delay until arrived around 2pm. after visit aunt lily, we go to parlor at 3pm. well, i'd expect all cousins had grown up, and may even better than me. but, the person whom i concern most is vivian. y? when we still a children, she is very smart and yet cute person among all cousin. i used to play with her in most of time, too. of coz, vivian is about same height with me. gratefully of she lives well. 1 thing i shock is, samson had become giant(of coz my colleague, jiang shen is taller la), and he's about 120kg!!! he's about 2X of my weight!!! however, i didn't talk much with them, since my mother had passed away, 7 years ago until right now. on that night, i'd remember what i done when i'm still a child. really a long story do describe. press this press that, take out the file, and a lot a lot... all of sudden, william called me for stuff related with current account. i'd told him of if nobody assist me to take care, i'll handle once i back. then, i remember my friend - kay. was she alright? hope she works happily without get scold without nothing

thursday, 8/9, the last day of grandfather's funeral. we did manage to go parlor before the ceremony start. however, due to traffic jam, we had lost while heading to temple for the last ceremony - the cremation. well, though we late, after we hand over all the clothes. we start the journey back to kl. meanwhile, i post a regards to her via fb, since i'd didn't contact with her for few days. however, she'd replied of she fall sick and take mc. i'm quite worried about it and call her, yet she didn't pickup. and then i ask yan hui and try to know the reason she sick. yan hui told me of she take mc because food poison. i really worry of her and yet i just send msg of hope she recover soon...

Saturday, July 30, 2011

和kay逛pavillion的一天

终于可以和kay一起逛街了!
那天我很兴奋,一大早起身,连早餐也没有吃就直接出门了.很不巧,早上下大雨,所以带相机时也得带雨伞.没想到,kay比我更早到.当她打电话给我时,已经是9:30了,可是很不巧我还在半路,当到lot 10时,已经近10点了.我很着急的找她,因为一个女生在monorial station很危险的.打了电话给她后,原来她去金河.我们在金河相遇后,就这样一起去pavillion
在走过去pavillion的路途,由于还在下雨,所以我拿雨伞,为她挡雨,小心翼翼的带她一起去pavillion.到了pavillion,她提议去旺角吃午餐.既然她提议,对我来说当然ok.



过后的下午,我们走回去plaza berjaya的snowflakes吃甜点.吃完了,我们还去times square.逛着当儿,我说了不应该说的话-提议看电影.如果她还有时间就还好,可是就近4点,她说5点左右她就得回家.坐在某个角落,我有意无意的试探她关于当有人认真的告白,她会不会接受谈恋爱.她虽然说会看情况,可是我太猴急了,一下把我的右手伸下来,五指连在她的手,很紧张的,连告白都没说,她突然间喊了.顿时,我能感觉到她很害怕.我仿佛觉得我很像在伤害她.过后,我没有出声,我只好向她说对不起...因为我觉得很对不起她...

Tuesday, May 24, 2011

block leave

finally is my rest week. i'm extreme tired after the alpha zoo challenge @ 22nd of May. our KL represent Isaac, Teoh, and few, include me. total KL participant is aound 10 ppl. we start our journey from 9am to 1pm. we were hoping to perform our best, thus we have a sleep for more than 3 hours. Isaac keep listen music, meanwhile Teoh just sleep. for team outing, we're using

Vincent : Sony SLT-A33 , SAL55200-2
Isaac : Sony DSLR-A230, SAL16105 (he's 1 of the top 10 from Alpha Challenge KL @ 12/12/10)
Teoh : Sony DSLR-A550 , SAL75300
(the rest player i dun have their profile and their SLR)

when we reach Taiping, challenger from Penang had arrived. total of challenger from Penang is 67 ppl. most of them are commonly using

Sony DSLR-A900, Sony DSLR-A850
SAL70200G, SAL70400G, SAL70300G

sounds they very rich... all professional grade and premium grade, how we challenge them?

ok, wat the differences? Sony DSLR-A900 and Sony DSLR-A850 is a full-frame sensor DSLR. it capture image with more detail and clarity. our DSLR/SLT is APS-C sensor, which capture image less detail compare with full-frame DSLR. the only advantages is, the focal length is 1.5X compare with full-frame , 1X. it means, if APS-C sensor DSLR uses 300mm focal length, its total of 450mm equivalent with 35mm size DSLR.

we had tried our best, and i'm felt sorry of i lost my concentration and lost the ranking this round. we are EVEN LOST TO A LITTLE GIRL NAMED MS. CHAN, 10 YEARS OLD, USING SONY DSLR-A200 WITH MINOLTA LENSES!? i really impressed of a little girl can take impressive looking photo!!!

the Alpha Challenge story is over...

today i walk around KL, from my house till Cheras, so far. i had passby Menara Maybank, having simple shot, then i go lowyat plaza for more IT info search. then, i go to Leisure Mall, and i once again, enter Maybank @ Segar Garden. there's a greeter just smiles and handle customer with gentle and care. i'm like her service very much. actually she doesn't know of i'm maybank staff from other branch. i visit yan hui, too bad yan hui seems very bz... ok, fine, i just having a chit chat around greeter with those senior staffs, and the new greeter. the new greeter named Kay. she's very sweet girl, and though she is new staff, she done her job very well. if comparing with my branch, i always complain of customer get wrong quene, and customer never fill in any application form, and much much more

Sunday, May 15, 2011

enjoyed "support" my friend =)

this morning, or i should call yesterday midnight, i'm having supper with siew chor and kuan hang. we keep bluffing and bluffing for fun, haha. the interesting part is start from kuan hang. he said he regret of buy vivaz pro, as vivaz pro dun have end call and pick-up call on the screen when incoming call or while conversation, and only can be done on botton which designed at bottom of phone. well, nobody will suit of new items in short time. no choice. no other way to cover disadvantages. and we had some experiment of simple photography outside too.

at afternoon, i went to sungei wang. as i wish of my friend - maggie can pass through the competition

Thursday, May 12, 2011

waiting for new DSLR

finally i had found a news of Panasonic new camera - Panasonic G3. actually, i dun have any interested for G3. wat i'm curious is, Pinpoint focus, which touch the screen where the subject is pointed and subject will focus. according to official website, the focusing point is almost available in every single place, where most SLR has limited focus point. i'm wonder was Pinpoint is very effective? as the Pinpoint is far effective compare with most touchscreen camera? all the while, i not really impressed of Panasonic's SLR/SLD camera, as they equipped Micro four-third sensor, as most brand like Sony, Nikon use APS-C size sensor for standard SLR. generally, APS-C sensor deliver more detail compare with Micro four-third sensor, and as APC-C size is 60% larger than Micro four-third, APS-C sensor's ISO performace is far better compare with Micro four-third sensor. was Pinpoint able to resurrect Panasonic's market? wait and see. if Pinpoint features is use in Sony, or Samsung's SLD camera, i'm believe they'll deliver more flexibility and more better detail photo
meanwhile, i'm still waiting for the rumored semi-professional SLR - Sony A77, the sucessor of Sony A700. i hope Sony will develop better ISO performance, deliver more detail output, for Sony A77

Sunday, April 17, 2011

Pikom PC-Fair Walkthrough

this evening, I had once again go to KLCC for having a fun-shooting at Pikom PC-Fair event. the reason i go for PC fair held in KLCC, 1st, i wanted to gather of news of rumored new carl-zeiss lenses, DT16-50 F2.8; 2nd, i just wanted to buy an extra, yet great performace memory card for backup purposes, in cases if my memory stick's memory had out of spaces to use. according of my knowledges and experiences, SanDisk Extreme Pro SDHC is the best SD memory card for most DSLR, which is consumer and semi-pro SLR. the writing speed of Sandisk Extreme Pro is up to 45mb/s. quite fast, right? none SD manufacturer can competitive with it, currently. I had get special price while buying SanDisk Extreme Pro 8GB, which cheaper than RM159, sounds cool. actually, in KL, only low-yat can found memory card with slightly cheaper price, which is RM149, at Sri Computer Sdn Bhd, whereas still distributed by same, and yet reliable company, Vector Digital Sdn Bhd. since this fair free lens pen, it is absolutely a best buy. Probably i will buy SanDisk Extreme Pro brand Compact Flash, after i pruchases Full-Frame SLR, either Sony Alpha900, sucessor of Sony Alpha900, or Nikon D700.

i had enjoyed photo shooting. i'm very joyed, especially when shooting with a showgirl, named Angeline. she's quite cheerful, charming, and very good customer services. initially, i have no intention to having a look for Panasonic compact camera or Micro 4/3, and since she gives some encourage for me to know some new product, all of sudden i feel happy, not because Panasonic camera's performance, is eventually she tried to encourages all customer for having a look for company's product. normally part time staff won't work with such spirit. i not mean to say bad things of Panasonic, actually all the while i doesn't hold any Panasonic camera, because Panasonic's SLD and SLR is using Micro 4/3 sensor, not APS-C sensor, which able to deliver better photography experience. ok, just stop talking of Panasonic. I had take some photograph for her, too.




















































































for me, this is my favorite shooting. angeline shows lumix camera with natural smiles, created the "happiness of holding lumix camera"

guess what after i having photo shooting? i visit Foto Shangri-La booth and meet ex-colleague. nothing particular, actually. how about DSLR basic accessory? i had survey around, yet, other than memory card, no lenses, external flash, filter(i'm crapping, filter is obviously wont available around PC fair) and branded tripod available, and thus, i only can continue to have a look of memory cards.
conclusion, Class 4 memory card may suitable for normal shooting, and VGA resolution video recording. Class 6 and above is preferred for burst shooting and HD video recording purposes. Transcend Ultimate SDHC is a bargain buy memory card, as it is Class 10, with 20mb/s reading and writing speed, reasonable fast and good performance for FullHD video recording, with RM65 for 8GB!!! sounds a best gift for consumer XD

Tuesday, March 15, 2011

lame night

sigh... time passes damn fast. i dunno, perhaps chi wai still think of how am i behave. well, if he think of i'm a pervert. let he think it. i'm lazy to explain. i'm remember of i had given a target for this year