boring offday...

today, i woke up damn early... i dunno y i could woke up so early... i dun have anything to do in morning, thus i just keep listen songs. well, i dun like those unknown earphones, their sound damn not nice to listen, no bass... i remember of i aqquired the HPM-77 long time ago, it sounds quite nice, yet i lost it last month. sigh...

i had rmb a lot of ppl so suddenly... chi wai, han seng, jun hui, yong ting, shirley, yong seng... quite a lot...

chi wai is my best friend, formerly... he help me a lot. i appreciate of his kindness. well, since last year 10th august, he decide to broke friendship with me. actually i dun wan, but it was coz of my easy anger and like to suspect...

yong ting is my childhood friend, i rmb of last time when standard 3 i really dunno her at all, untill 1 day while i want out to play (every kids likes to go playground or some place where can have fun to play, right?), i saw her went back to her home. at tat time, i have a feeling of i saw hear at somewhere. the afternoon after tat day, i go to school as usual, and i saw her, then i just know of she live quite near my home. when i wanted to ask her, she ask me(i forgot conversation tat time)... she's quite polite and seldom speaking, altough she is not smart girl, but she help me a lot. if she doesn't exist, maybe i even dumb than now, when i sick, she forced herself to finish homework and lend me for revision. of course i do the same thing to her. 2 years had been passed, after my birthday, she no longer friend with me. well, of course untill now i really sad of it and hope to recover the friendship between she and i, but i couldn't, coz i really forgot wat happened tat time, i really hate of 8 years event can be lost like tat!!!

shirley... well, i know her through conversation between han seng, her and me. recently, because of my naive action, i had hurt her feeling. i know she's not suit for me, but i forced myslf to propose her even i still like a girl altough tat girl still dunno it. well, of coz shirley reject. i had hurted her feeling tat time, i wonder how was she right now? was she forgive me? who knows? well, let's dun discuss of shirley.

until today, i realise wat kind of person am i. even 19 years old, i still like a naive, stupid, moron kid. most ppl is try and not forced to try, but, i am person who force myself to try everything. i not a kind of tender person and i not a gentlemen. and i like to keep everything in my mind than speak my problem to every1. coz i dun wan any1 cares of problem i facing. i work almost 2 years without continue study, and i under retail sales line almost 1 year more already, y i dun have much money?? coz i dun behave myself loh! simply waste money to purchased thing to alice, my former gf. although i like tat girl more than alice, but i act i like her, and keep waste money... watever, i kinda regret to know her, coz she keep lying. i really hate ppl lie. now i no longer friend with her, afterall

well, now is 4:00pm. i close my blog here 1st

time wont wait for us. we need take action asap or else u'll regret

9:00am... is my dreaming time. i had dream my mother... she tell me few of past... well, i had drop tear and woke up after tat.

It's been 5 years i couldn't hear my mother's voice... tat is 1st time, most sad for me from born untill now. when my mother passed, tat time i still a naive kid. a 14 years old youngster should be mature. in these 5 years, i seldom dream of my mom.

in these 5 years, i still have a bad habits - delay. everything delay delay delay. when exam period wat i doing? sleeping, play chess, go cc, etc... until exam day then i do revision. quite funny right? but i dun think it's funny. coz i often delay, i'm always late to my friend's/classmate's reunion. i had delay everything wat i wan to do, 19 yeard old already haven't get driving license, waste money which made me delay from save money for study, and until now i feel i cant help my family as well...... i feel shame of being a human... i had because fear to tell a girl whom i care most, today i know of she have bf(i had feel sad, but how can i do for myself? she may dunno i like her also... but no tear, afterall)...

i know tat girl since form 4, when she join to my school. tat time, i just feel normal like usual. but, after 1 year, i had become often chat with her. when SPM, i had secretly admire（暗恋） to tat girl. i think she dunno tat i had tat feeling to her...

after SPM, i had 1 year didn't contact her, due of i dun have her contact number. ah ha, when i join action, 1 day, i saw her sibblings and her walk parkson, then i simply msg to her relatives, but, she call me suddenly as she saw her relative's msg. after tat, i kinda happy of i could get her contact, in the same time, i also disappointed of she have bf. but after 2 weeks, i have gf, but tat time dun have much feeling of alice.

bout 4 months i had together with alice, she not only even naive, dumb, moreover she keep lying to me tat makes me even hate to her. then i decided to break relation with her, and finally, i even angry of wat she does and i decide to break friendship with her, at 30th of may. while i break relationship with alice, i got contact her and i'm suprised of she had no longer with bf. well, wat can i do tat time? only can treat her good by my sincere.

but today, 2:50pm, i decided to go to visit her and tell her of i likes her, but i didnt tell, because she tell me of she have bf... well, i disappointed again...

until now, 5:25pm, i feel i very tired regarding of it, even i know i not supposed to disappointed or sad of it, but i couldn't control myself...

as conclusion, i really need to take initiatives on everything in the future, i dun wan have any regrets...