9:00am... is my dreaming time. i had dream my mother... she tell me few of past... well, i had drop tear and woke up after tat.
It's been 5 years i couldn't hear my mother's voice... tat is 1st time, most sad for me from born untill now. when my mother passed, tat time i still a naive kid. a 14 years old youngster should be mature. in these 5 years, i seldom dream of my mom.
in these 5 years, i still have a bad habits - delay. everything delay delay delay. when exam period wat i doing? sleeping, play chess, go cc, etc... until exam day then i do revision. quite funny right? but i dun think it's funny. coz i often delay, i'm always late to my friend's/classmate's reunion. i had delay everything wat i wan to do, 19 yeard old already haven't get driving license, waste money which made me delay from save money for study, and until now i feel i cant help my family as well...... i feel shame of being a human... i had because fear to tell a girl whom i care most, today i know of she have bf(i had feel sad, but how can i do for myself? she may dunno i like her also... but no tear, afterall)...
i know tat girl since form 4, when she join to my school. tat time, i just feel normal like usual. but, after 1 year, i had become often chat with her. when SPM, i had secretly admire（暗恋） to tat girl. i think she dunno tat i had tat feeling to her...
after SPM, i had 1 year didn't contact her, due of i dun have her contact number. ah ha, when i join action, 1 day, i saw her sibblings and her walk parkson, then i simply msg to her relatives, but, she call me suddenly as she saw her relative's msg. after tat, i kinda happy of i could get her contact, in the same time, i also disappointed of she have bf. but after 2 weeks, i have gf, but tat time dun have much feeling of alice.
bout 4 months i had together with alice, she not only even naive, dumb, moreover she keep lying to me tat makes me even hate to her. then i decided to break relation with her, and finally, i even angry of wat she does and i decide to break friendship with her, at 30th of may. while i break relationship with alice, i got contact her and i'm suprised of she had no longer with bf. well, wat can i do tat time? only can treat her good by my sincere.
but today, 2:50pm, i decided to go to visit her and tell her of i likes her, but i didnt tell, because she tell me of she have bf... well, i disappointed again...
until now, 5:25pm, i feel i very tired regarding of it, even i know i not supposed to disappointed or sad of it, but i couldn't control myself...
as conclusion, i really need to take initiatives on everything in the future, i dun wan have any regrets...
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