嗨,我家的电脑已经“进院”了.没办法,看不到华文字,加上RAM不大,每天hang...相信会有一段时间没有用电脑上网,也没有办法留comment给大家...
刚才早上五点,我独自在balakong的某个公园环绕.环绕中,我累了,我就坐在凳子上休息.有某人也在我休息时坐在我隔壁.那人便问我：“请问你是华联的Vincent吗？”我呆住了,为何有人会认识我呢？那人说他在蕉赖听我的大名,说什么感谢我能帮到他的朋友.他并没有报上我的姓名,我哪知他到底是谁哦？我更不晓得他的朋友是何人.当我想知道他是“何方神圣”时,他也离开公园了.
最近大家的命运很像撞邪似的...而我也几乎掉入无底深潭.过去一段时间,我也因为没有女朋友,心里觉得很空虚.再者,我的好友也去了怡保也有一段时间,他的状况也难晓得,其他人都为了考试而不断忙碌,我也想认识新的朋友,也期望能交到要好的朋友.不料,有人偏偏不肯坦白,我对人坦白,她却不断创造故事,有不少好友也劝我别找她,可是,我总觉得她算是可信之友,我只能期望她能坦白.只能希望大家的未来会更好,祝大家运气更佳~
首先,我的好友,艾华...我知道最近你忙于stpm,别气馁,过去的就任由它过去吧,只好考试后,为将来的事重新计划吧.加油哦~我永远会支持你的！
汉升,我知道你本性是个非常坚强的人,即使stpm,你也丝毫没有露出紧张恐惧的感觉.你很劲!考试后，我会找机会找你聊天下棋的,哈哈！
接下来...
心夜,我很同情你的遭遇...虽然这些事会让人不愉快,不过,你要坚强哦.以后你得更小心,别随便自己一个人哦.如果你需要帮忙,你尽管说,我能帮到你的,我一定帮你~我衷心祝你未来会更好~
Cassie,爱情这类事,我帮不到你啦,毕竟我是外人.那天你叫我听你指定的歌,我听了过后,我明白你现在的感受.所谓“旁观者清,当局者迷”,我能说的是,请你振作起来！你要活得更加精彩,这样你的家人,和你的前男友也不会再担心你的.祝你未来更愉快！
我也累了,昨晚没有睡觉,下次再写blog吧.
Friday, November 27, 2009
Wednesday, November 25, 2009
我很没用...
我最近很失落,往往觉得做好人实在很难.这个不行,那个不通;该如何是好?
早上六点,我收拾房间,准备丢掉没用或没有留念价值的东西.收拾中,我找到妈妈的遗物.我呆住了,我傻傻地看着它,想起往事...
十多年前,我是个无知的小豆丁.从未想过将来.我算是在妈妈的保护下成长.当时的我,有时候不是受伤,就是为家人带来麻烦.后来,五年前,我和家人都沮丧了...妈妈已经被证实患上癌症.当晚,妈妈和我吃宵夜.她说:
"铭铭,做人最重要是对待人如对自己.如果你要对他人好,首先就要对自己好.别自私,要善心."
当年年头,起初我因为妈妈的病情却帮不到她而暴躁,不自爱,年中,我感觉到人生的残酷,我清楚知道人生的道理,我开始改变自己,尽量别依赖别人,学习自立.在我妈妈临终前,她觉得我已经变好,声称能安心.
五年了,我就是在缺乏母爱的环境下生存.我除了对家人朋友没有疑忌,我甚少和陌生人打交道...
早上六点,我收拾房间,准备丢掉没用或没有留念价值的东西.收拾中,我找到妈妈的遗物.我呆住了,我傻傻地看着它,想起往事...
十多年前,我是个无知的小豆丁.从未想过将来.我算是在妈妈的保护下成长.当时的我,有时候不是受伤,就是为家人带来麻烦.后来,五年前,我和家人都沮丧了...妈妈已经被证实患上癌症.当晚,妈妈和我吃宵夜.她说:
"铭铭,做人最重要是对待人如对自己.如果你要对他人好,首先就要对自己好.别自私,要善心."
当年年头,起初我因为妈妈的病情却帮不到她而暴躁,不自爱,年中,我感觉到人生的残酷,我清楚知道人生的道理,我开始改变自己,尽量别依赖别人,学习自立.在我妈妈临终前,她觉得我已经变好,声称能安心.
五年了,我就是在缺乏母爱的环境下生存.我除了对家人朋友没有疑忌,我甚少和陌生人打交道...
Monday, November 23, 2009
grateful day
23/11/2009, 7pm
as i mention just now, i didn't slp last night. but, it doesn't affect my work at morning. but it opposite while lunch hour.
i can hear my friend's sound. the sound was a boy's sound, really soft. i had long time didn't heard such gentle sound, since i start work. he told me,
"vincent, be strong. u used to be a nice guy. although i feel u annoying, i know u're sincere guy. although until today, i still dun like u, yet, i still think u as my bro."
brother? i have no idea, coz, sound really gentle. gentle guy? i really dun have idea who was he. and, how he know wat i feel?
"mayb u forgot who am i. it's been 6 years ago. and, thx of ur advice while at saujana."
saujana? i really dun have idea who was he. chin kuan? his sound was deep. shu pin? i dun think so. he a great guy. who owh? i dun have any idea in such short time.
"juz be urself, as long as u r right, dun nid think any thoughts from other ppl. juz be a right vincent. 1 day, u may get more than wat u needs. u have few nice girl who made u as their brother, right? it proved u r nice guy and wat u done was right"
how he know? who the guy? i dun have any appetite, and instead, i would like to know who the person. the, i saw a person stand beside me, and he face other place and leave my side. i wanted chase, but, i can't move fast, coz, i feel my eyes and leg too tired, failed to chase or even identify the person.
mayb u think it's likely a tale, but, i think it's was realistic. coz, i can feel of temperature of food, and environment.
ya, i was happy of i had reconnect with my sis, esther. she's really a nice girl. even she busy of her college works, she cares of me. i love her very much. hope brother's loves can be eternity. she also only few person which i can believe much without any suspicious among all i know.
i had friend back with chi wai, my "brother". he also 1 of them who dislikes my hot-tempered attitude. coz of my hot-tempered, he decided to ignore me "permenant". of coz i regret of mad with him. i tried my best to treat him better within these 2 years. at 1st he kept insult me, but, finally he forgives me.
i learn from han seng, my chess friend, he kept me teach me of be positives always. no matter how pressure he face, he only smiles.
only few person i can fully believe, chi wai, ken low, esther, han seng...
as i mention just now, i didn't slp last night. but, it doesn't affect my work at morning. but it opposite while lunch hour.
i can hear my friend's sound. the sound was a boy's sound, really soft. i had long time didn't heard such gentle sound, since i start work. he told me,
"vincent, be strong. u used to be a nice guy. although i feel u annoying, i know u're sincere guy. although until today, i still dun like u, yet, i still think u as my bro."
brother? i have no idea, coz, sound really gentle. gentle guy? i really dun have idea who was he. and, how he know wat i feel?
"mayb u forgot who am i. it's been 6 years ago. and, thx of ur advice while at saujana."
saujana? i really dun have idea who was he. chin kuan? his sound was deep. shu pin? i dun think so. he a great guy. who owh? i dun have any idea in such short time.
"juz be urself, as long as u r right, dun nid think any thoughts from other ppl. juz be a right vincent. 1 day, u may get more than wat u needs. u have few nice girl who made u as their brother, right? it proved u r nice guy and wat u done was right"
how he know? who the guy? i dun have any appetite, and instead, i would like to know who the person. the, i saw a person stand beside me, and he face other place and leave my side. i wanted chase, but, i can't move fast, coz, i feel my eyes and leg too tired, failed to chase or even identify the person.
mayb u think it's likely a tale, but, i think it's was realistic. coz, i can feel of temperature of food, and environment.
ya, i was happy of i had reconnect with my sis, esther. she's really a nice girl. even she busy of her college works, she cares of me. i love her very much. hope brother's loves can be eternity. she also only few person which i can believe much without any suspicious among all i know.
i had friend back with chi wai, my "brother". he also 1 of them who dislikes my hot-tempered attitude. coz of my hot-tempered, he decided to ignore me "permenant". of coz i regret of mad with him. i tried my best to treat him better within these 2 years. at 1st he kept insult me, but, finally he forgives me.
i learn from han seng, my chess friend, he kept me teach me of be positives always. no matter how pressure he face, he only smiles.
only few person i can fully believe, chi wai, ken low, esther, han seng...
I so complicated
Now is 7am, i couldn't sleep but only wondering while lying on bed.
Actually, "she" which i mention in those post within this month, eve. Last 2 months, i had reconnect with her. Untill now, i finally feel of how complicated.
at begins of this year, she give me my number.
at sept, i sms with her(i still keep the msg, i dun wan to list more.)
"wanted to concentrate to study"
"dun have any attention of relationship life."
...
then, last month, i had chat with her. i think u all will thought of how come i call her so suddenly even i bz of sony's stuff. i rmb of her, then i use company pc for online. even joyce scold me of use company pc for my own purpose, i ignore only. darren even crazy, said i viewing gf's blog. i dun have gf recently he also said thus. i view her blog. i can feel how sad she was... then i call her,
she said she just broke up with her bf. then, i chat with her and kept something hope to cheer her up. then, the complicated part started...
at november, while i call her, a boy pick up my call. he exclaim himself as his bf and he said she go nilai for study. tat night, she msg me of dun call her often as bf dun likes. hey? i nvr know of can go nilai from kl within such short 20minute? well, the further part...
at last wed, she call me to have a drink at pub. and, she exclaim of she's single. y she wanted to exclaim? i dunno. well, at tat time, wat i know of she's a complicated person.
now, it's main point. i call her last night, but i cant listen any sound. then, msg come list of he's ex bf and now he take back tat number. but, i know wat's truth behind, actually. but, i really dun wan say anymore... coz, it's a question of whether she accept me as friend or no. i never lie to a person who i not know much, but, she gives me a lot of complicated things. so, i really dunno whether i should continued to find her or vice versa?
Actually, "she" which i mention in those post within this month, eve. Last 2 months, i had reconnect with her. Untill now, i finally feel of how complicated.
at begins of this year, she give me my number.
at sept, i sms with her(i still keep the msg, i dun wan to list more.)
"wanted to concentrate to study"
"dun have any attention of relationship life."
...
then, last month, i had chat with her. i think u all will thought of how come i call her so suddenly even i bz of sony's stuff. i rmb of her, then i use company pc for online. even joyce scold me of use company pc for my own purpose, i ignore only. darren even crazy, said i viewing gf's blog. i dun have gf recently he also said thus. i view her blog. i can feel how sad she was... then i call her,
she said she just broke up with her bf. then, i chat with her and kept something hope to cheer her up. then, the complicated part started...
at november, while i call her, a boy pick up my call. he exclaim himself as his bf and he said she go nilai for study. tat night, she msg me of dun call her often as bf dun likes. hey? i nvr know of can go nilai from kl within such short 20minute? well, the further part...
at last wed, she call me to have a drink at pub. and, she exclaim of she's single. y she wanted to exclaim? i dunno. well, at tat time, wat i know of she's a complicated person.
now, it's main point. i call her last night, but i cant listen any sound. then, msg come list of he's ex bf and now he take back tat number. but, i know wat's truth behind, actually. but, i really dun wan say anymore... coz, it's a question of whether she accept me as friend or no. i never lie to a person who i not know much, but, she gives me a lot of complicated things. so, i really dunno whether i should continued to find her or vice versa?
Sunday, November 22, 2009
speechless
finally turn to 22/11/2009 12pm.
in these 12 hour, my body's energy kept pumping up, make myself couldn't slp. i watch astro at mei's house with ryan & mei for almost 6 hour, then ryan fetch me to my home at 6am. but, i nvr enter my home, instead, i just wandering & wondering.
wat's my purpose to live? wat's my purpose to play chess? wat's my purpose to know new friends?
i really dun hav idea of wat i live for. i play chess isit only find stronger player n know new chess friend? i only know y i looking for new friends. got some1 ask me of tat question at thursday. y i wanted to know more bout her even though she have few bad habits? wat i can say is, as long as the person is a human with kind-heart, i wish to know more bout the person. she(my other friend) ask me once again this morning, even though i kinda hopeless to received her reply, i still tell my friend of i still believe on her. dunno wat i think, afterall...
at 8am, i had moved to happy garden, i saw few boys bully a girl. when i saw them, i just go simply scold them and they escaped. while i saw the girl injured, i rmb last month.
in the morning, i walk to bus stop opposite of central supermarket. it needs take 20 minutes time from my home. while on the way, i saw my ex-classmate, she with her bf. and then she talk with me with impolite sentences, then her bf kept said things which insult poor youngster, included me. ya i'm poor, then wat? at least i more polite than those fucking rich but irritating guy. while he continue crapping, i had release my anger and thrown him to the garden and kept punish him. i dun bother the guy yell, as he yell, i even rough. as long as i heard insulting sentence, i release more anger. then, finally, his apologized and i stopped. after 1 month, i saw him again, he go other way as he saw me.
well, i hope tat girl will ok soon. i kinda weird of i goes help a stranger like tat
at 10am, i reach market near my home, and i having breakfast. i feel of i need more physical training, as i can feel of i still lacking of a lot of strength...
in these 12 hour, my body's energy kept pumping up, make myself couldn't slp. i watch astro at mei's house with ryan & mei for almost 6 hour, then ryan fetch me to my home at 6am. but, i nvr enter my home, instead, i just wandering & wondering.
wat's my purpose to live? wat's my purpose to play chess? wat's my purpose to know new friends?
i really dun hav idea of wat i live for. i play chess isit only find stronger player n know new chess friend? i only know y i looking for new friends. got some1 ask me of tat question at thursday. y i wanted to know more bout her even though she have few bad habits? wat i can say is, as long as the person is a human with kind-heart, i wish to know more bout the person. she(my other friend) ask me once again this morning, even though i kinda hopeless to received her reply, i still tell my friend of i still believe on her. dunno wat i think, afterall...
at 8am, i had moved to happy garden, i saw few boys bully a girl. when i saw them, i just go simply scold them and they escaped. while i saw the girl injured, i rmb last month.
in the morning, i walk to bus stop opposite of central supermarket. it needs take 20 minutes time from my home. while on the way, i saw my ex-classmate, she with her bf. and then she talk with me with impolite sentences, then her bf kept said things which insult poor youngster, included me. ya i'm poor, then wat? at least i more polite than those fucking rich but irritating guy. while he continue crapping, i had release my anger and thrown him to the garden and kept punish him. i dun bother the guy yell, as he yell, i even rough. as long as i heard insulting sentence, i release more anger. then, finally, his apologized and i stopped. after 1 month, i saw him again, he go other way as he saw me.
well, i hope tat girl will ok soon. i kinda weird of i goes help a stranger like tat
at 10am, i reach market near my home, and i having breakfast. i feel of i need more physical training, as i can feel of i still lacking of a lot of strength...
Bad dreams
22th of nov, 2am
this evening, i go to church, due of queenie call me to go over there. at there, i only feel blurred... coz, i 1st time go church. well, at least i behaved well over there, didn't create any commotion.
i listen song at mei's home, with ryan, and mei. I really can't slp in these few days.
I'm fear...
I was wondering, was she's lying? I dunno... All the time, i mix with lots ppl easily, but not tis time. I can feel, i can't mix with her, mayb was certain facts i mention b4... I dunno wat's she think... Sometimes she dun reply, sometimes 'bf' disturb me, etc...
this evening, i go to church, due of queenie call me to go over there. at there, i only feel blurred... coz, i 1st time go church. well, at least i behaved well over there, didn't create any commotion.
i listen song at mei's home, with ryan, and mei. I really can't slp in these few days.
I'm fear...
I was wondering, was she's lying? I dunno... All the time, i mix with lots ppl easily, but not tis time. I can feel, i can't mix with her, mayb was certain facts i mention b4... I dunno wat's she think... Sometimes she dun reply, sometimes 'bf' disturb me, etc...
Saturday, November 21, 2009
the path of unknown... dizzy
21/11/2009 12pm
today is lai kuan birthday. wish her happy birthday. i wonder will their family back from trip and celebrate her birthday?
as result, i didnt slp last night, keep waiting for 2 person's call. 1 of them is chi wai, he seems too tired to handle himself. another 1... i lazy to talk... i dunno la...
2am, i go out and keep raging myself, running n running, even tired, i still moving, i can feel of i'm torturing myself more than training. while i'm back from outside, it's 4am, then i pick up my phone and i saw msg, it's rather sickening me... i dun wan explain, 1 of my friend was become victims of lost virginity and she's vanished recently. i kinda shamed of become male, y they only thought of sexual more important than love? i'm kinda mad of my friend's incident, but how? i can't go avenge, coz it's their matter, i can't mix them to settle it!
frankly speaking, i hoping to have gf, and i'm believe of love feeling can be created through concern, communication, and most important is cares. if use virgin to get couple, it's not love, it's just like simply having sexual intercourse as their needs. i dunno wat's ur opinion la, afterall.
recently i does only find answer of my theory, i know i nt suitable to use words "theory", coz i not neither inventor nor genuis, i only a person who really wanted to get answers. regarding of handphone FAQ, i afraid i cant tell u all right now, coz my pc is slow, do u believed i still using windows ME and RAM is below 1GB? it's fact, thus i can't search answers for u all.
i feel i really tired... y nobody help me? my best friend is not around my side, i kinda afraid to communicate with "friends" besida me, as long i know they have intention to use something from me. i really hoping to get a sincere friend, if the sincere is my gf, even better, coz wat's important of couple is "believe each other"...
i, think, the path of be a professionalism is widen...
today is lai kuan birthday. wish her happy birthday. i wonder will their family back from trip and celebrate her birthday?
as result, i didnt slp last night, keep waiting for 2 person's call. 1 of them is chi wai, he seems too tired to handle himself. another 1... i lazy to talk... i dunno la...
2am, i go out and keep raging myself, running n running, even tired, i still moving, i can feel of i'm torturing myself more than training. while i'm back from outside, it's 4am, then i pick up my phone and i saw msg, it's rather sickening me... i dun wan explain, 1 of my friend was become victims of lost virginity and she's vanished recently. i kinda shamed of become male, y they only thought of sexual more important than love? i'm kinda mad of my friend's incident, but how? i can't go avenge, coz it's their matter, i can't mix them to settle it!
frankly speaking, i hoping to have gf, and i'm believe of love feeling can be created through concern, communication, and most important is cares. if use virgin to get couple, it's not love, it's just like simply having sexual intercourse as their needs. i dunno wat's ur opinion la, afterall.
recently i does only find answer of my theory, i know i nt suitable to use words "theory", coz i not neither inventor nor genuis, i only a person who really wanted to get answers. regarding of handphone FAQ, i afraid i cant tell u all right now, coz my pc is slow, do u believed i still using windows ME and RAM is below 1GB? it's fact, thus i can't search answers for u all.
i feel i really tired... y nobody help me? my best friend is not around my side, i kinda afraid to communicate with "friends" besida me, as long i know they have intention to use something from me. i really hoping to get a sincere friend, if the sincere is my gf, even better, coz wat's important of couple is "believe each other"...
i, think, the path of be a professionalism is widen...
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