broken heart... wont b heal unless i get something i desired for

it's been awhile after i break with my 1st love. i thought i can b free from relationship life. unfortunately it repeat and make me more worse...
recently i miss a girl and tried to get closer with her, even she know of she have no feel to me, yet she only test me...
in these 2 weeks, although we only meet only once, i feel of i had love her instead of likes her. after i met her, my mind keep think of her, keep miss her...i miss her until these few days couldn't sleep, begins of physical illness... yesterday she told me of i had to break with her. i really sad of it... i had long time didnt drop my tears... i even didnt have proper conversation with her... we should have long time communication to ensure whether we r match or vise versa. i sad until scold her even she under heavy stress... i reli silly... i should care her and try to less her stress as well... i reli felt sry to her... i reli sad and regret until i cry... even ill... and even couldnt slp...

i am in forbidden well...

hi. it's been a while time didnt update my blog. well, i think i'm suffer more than happy.
in these 1 month, i couldn't slp well, mostly 4 to 5 hours, seldom have nice nap. why i damn stupid? like some1 i shouldn't like, want to tried to forget it but failed. haizzz.... why this time i have such moron mind? why i need to worried some1 who had like others? she also not often to chat with me but more often chat to "him". i don't want to mention here, and i will try to not let more ppl know as well. well, i guess, i nid even better solution...

this is the beginning of the nightmare...

today, 4th of october, afternoon, i fall asleep, because i had a few night couldn't sleep. i had worry, something will be happened...

this morning, due of i didn't sleep, i go out for a walk. after breakfast, my dad had "meeting" with my family again. phew... kinda long time to discuss...
afternoon, i fall asleep without eat lunch. when i sleep, i have a nightmare. in the nightmare, i dream esther. she told me that i am a useless person and she is ashamed to friend with me. in the nightmare, she said she no longer friend with me. its shocked me and made me wake up. when i wake up, its 3:30pm. i had sleep just 1 hours.
after i eat a bread, i go for online. well, the nightmare is really happened, it slightly same as the nightmare i dreamed. esther told me few things on the msn messenger. lately she not comfortable when she chat with me, she said i been changed, etc... then, she tell me that let she and me just become friends, because she and i is not suited to become "brother and sister". even i sad, attept to refuse, but will it make us better? i don't think so, well, i had forced to accept. oh my, my mood is going to worser untill cannot concentrate even cycling to house. while i cycling to house, the stupid car crash to me. lucky my bike is fine, yet, my left arm is pain of scratched while dropped to the rocky land. at that time, i really angry and attempt to hit the driver. when i stand up, i saw roy, then i feel like fighting is not good for mental health, so i stopped it. so, i bring the injured body and sad feeling to friend house. i will go back to house as i finish the post.
I am very sad... was the happy time between us is doomed? was we don't have chance to let me perfom better?

happy new year~ gt a lot things to say...

finally 2007 is went... last year gt a lot bad things happened to me, make me few sad; of coz gt a few happy things to me. tis holiday, the most happy things is can make friend with siew yee & charmaine. the 2 girls is quite cheerul, bt charmaine is a bit naughty. among 2 of them, i like siew yee, coz she talkative, i can communicate with her easier compare with other girl. although nt know much bout 2 of them, i think i start to miss them, coz i cant meet them as school start.
yesterday, i work at sungei buloh, with zul(waiter), choon sang(waiter), charmaine(waiter) and mrs. peggy(chef). bout 5pm, we arrived there and start to arrange the table & chair while peg ready to cook. 7pm, when almost done arrange, suddenly the host tel us to rearrange the chair due the table is nt enuf. coz tat, when we arrange, peg keep scold us. haizzzzzzz... at tat time i feel tat i useless... b4 party start, we had discuss tat i clear table, charmaine in charge of ready soft drinks and ice-kacang & choon sang ready laksa. the party start at 8pm. when bout 9pm, when charmaine is nt enuf glass cup to ready soft drink, i go to collect glass cup & wash them. coz i wash glass cup and choon sang help charmaine ready ice-kacng while ppl nid laksa, the peg kept scold bout us. haizzz... all ppl nid help 1 mar, why peg didnt try to be in other people's shoe and kept scold us??? b4 countdown, i keep think bout last year(2007):
cw is quite helpful, sometimes i think tat i create trouble to him. juz tis holiday, i had lend bout rm50 from him for my own purpose. han seng ar? he still didnt change. jun hui is still naughty as when he form 1. i still remember his nickname "dog king". hahahaaaa. i remembered 1USAHA friend eg. lee joseph, lee jun seng, albert mah &, etc... as i remember alicia, i started to cry infront of many ppl. form1 memories is unforgetful to me. i think form5 is most bad year for me. i cant solve anything i wanted to solve and kept delay the problem till SPM, tats y i cant concentrate in BM & sejarah exam... bout other subject ar? didnt affect maths at all, the rest a bit affect... those problem & the SPM make me even sad till cried summore...

hope my life can be better...

sound pretty weird, doesn't it?

2 days ago, 8/12/2007, sat, i am very lucky, coz i had met ai hwa, my primary school friend. lucky she still remember me. tat's y i happy. bt, when i on the way went home, i think back the memories when in primary school till b4 SPM, a lot sweet memories, a lot sad memories, etc...
when i think a few event, my tear dropped. yong ting, kelly, sook yan, the ppl tat duwan friend with me anymore, they action make my heart pain... when at saujana, i attept to "pikat" a girl, till lampau. bout august, she tell me tat duwan friend with me with serious voice. at tat moment, is most sad for me in my life. after few month, i had shift to SMK taman yarl. at first 2 month, i reli very hate tat school, very angry, till wan "cari gaduh". tat moment i reli no mood. bt bout february, gt an event make me happy back - tat girl wan friend back with me. bt, at tat time i realise, tat girl's best friend, rachel, is nt reli close with me as last time. although i know it, bt i still try to friend with her & hope she know tat i wan to be good friend with her.
SPM is over alredi, bt i still lyk "homeless ghost", dunno wan to do wat...... hope the person who viewed tis blog will gimme suggestion. thx

hi. i m new user

hi. my name is vincent lee wai meng. nice to meet u. nowadays i m ready for SPM. further update will proceed after SPM (4/12/2007).
today is science paper. it quite "EASY" bt dunno how to do. worried whether can get A2 or no......
now i tell u my own problem.
1. i feel worried bout SPM. dunno whether 5A's target will be succeed or failed
2. i felt despair. coz bout 1 year i cant talk well with kelly. feel very sad tat still cant friend with her.
3. i even didnt think well bout after SPM wan to do which thing 1st......

tats all of the thing i wan to say today