bye bye, foto

it's been a while time already. i had to leave Foto Shangri-La soon, and ready for new challange.
i realise, try to like other is even hard, as long as "she" is important to me. i know, whenever i care certain ppl, they won't appreciate and easily forget it, it sickening me... well, i dun like ppl so mean...
just now afternoon, i find "her" again, and it maybe last time for me to find her, i guess... coz i will start my new life soon... it may makes me no time to find her. well, mayb i should give up of "her", and try find better girl. mayb wat chi wai said was right, both of him and i was desperate of cares from girls and hope have a good relationship life. i admit, i really wan a nice girl to be my gf(not appearance, most important is kind heart), hope girl give me chance to allowed me to treat her better and create loves feeling between she and i.
i guess, mayb i m dreaming gua...

commotion...

its been 1/2 of a month...

well, since i meet "her" last 2 week, i feel of i cant concentrate on work, daydream of "her" while working... damn fool...

chi wai had came back from perak for bout 10 days ady, next week is last week for him stay at kl, he need go back to perak to continue study.

yesterday, 8th oct...

like usual loh, off day sure wake damn late. bout 2 pm, coz i kinda curious of "her" and wanna know how was "she", then i decide go school to visit "her". at there, i saw "she" look ok, but i can feel "she" look tired and pressured, well, i told "her" always think positive. well, i think "she" doesn't...

around 4pm, originally i had to play badminton with chi wai, but tat time wind too strong, we can't play badminton at all!!! all we do at evening is, yumcha lo... haha. and then, 6:30, chi wai go home, at same time, i had made appoint with shuk ling, my senior.

at leo's, i had dinner with her. it's been a long time didn't meet her, yet she only changed haistyle. kinda happy of she live well. if compare with most friend i met, they all frustrated of money, couple, future, but was they actually had planned all and take action? of coz, i also got think those, but i just ignore relationship life for a moment of time, coz i haven't continue my education life and haven't learn diving yet, "MONEY" is main thing i needed. well, hope shuk ling can pass her driving test... i really appreciate she accept the appointment and meet with me at time.

at late night, i couldn't slp. while i intend to have a walk outside, cindy call me regarding of things i order. she give those goods to me after the meal...

at 2am, i still can't slp. i rmb 2 years ago, again... will i can acieved my target and get wat i wanted? only god knows...

boring offday...

today, i woke up damn early... i dunno y i could woke up so early... i dun have anything to do in morning, thus i just keep listen songs. well, i dun like those unknown earphones, their sound damn not nice to listen, no bass... i remember of i aqquired the HPM-77 long time ago, it sounds quite nice, yet i lost it last month. sigh...

i had rmb a lot of ppl so suddenly... chi wai, han seng, jun hui, yong ting, shirley, yong seng... quite a lot...

chi wai is my best friend, formerly... he help me a lot. i appreciate of his kindness. well, since last year 10th august, he decide to broke friendship with me. actually i dun wan, but it was coz of my easy anger and like to suspect...

yong ting is my childhood friend, i rmb of last time when standard 3 i really dunno her at all, untill 1 day while i want out to play (every kids likes to go playground or some place where can have fun to play, right?), i saw her went back to her home. at tat time, i have a feeling of i saw hear at somewhere. the afternoon after tat day, i go to school as usual, and i saw her, then i just know of she live quite near my home. when i wanted to ask her, she ask me(i forgot conversation tat time)... she's quite polite and seldom speaking, altough she is not smart girl, but she help me a lot. if she doesn't exist, maybe i even dumb than now, when i sick, she forced herself to finish homework and lend me for revision. of course i do the same thing to her. 2 years had been passed, after my birthday, she no longer friend with me. well, of course untill now i really sad of it and hope to recover the friendship between she and i, but i couldn't, coz i really forgot wat happened tat time, i really hate of 8 years event can be lost like tat!!!

shirley... well, i know her through conversation between han seng, her and me. recently, because of my naive action, i had hurt her feeling. i know she's not suit for me, but i forced myslf to propose her even i still like a girl altough tat girl still dunno it. well, of coz shirley reject. i had hurted her feeling tat time, i wonder how was she right now? was she forgive me? who knows? well, let's dun discuss of shirley.

until today, i realise wat kind of person am i. even 19 years old, i still like a naive, stupid, moron kid. most ppl is try and not forced to try, but, i am person who force myself to try everything. i not a kind of tender person and i not a gentlemen. and i like to keep everything in my mind than speak my problem to every1. coz i dun wan any1 cares of problem i facing. i work almost 2 years without continue study, and i under retail sales line almost 1 year more already, y i dun have much money?? coz i dun behave myself loh! simply waste money to purchased thing to alice, my former gf. although i like tat girl more than alice, but i act i like her, and keep waste money... watever, i kinda regret to know her, coz she keep lying. i really hate ppl lie. now i no longer friend with her, afterall

well, now is 4:00pm. i close my blog here 1st

time wont wait for us. we need take action asap or else u'll regret

9:00am... is my dreaming time. i had dream my mother... she tell me few of past... well, i had drop tear and woke up after tat.

It's been 5 years i couldn't hear my mother's voice... tat is 1st time, most sad for me from born untill now. when my mother passed, tat time i still a naive kid. a 14 years old youngster should be mature. in these 5 years, i seldom dream of my mom.

in these 5 years, i still have a bad habits - delay. everything delay delay delay. when exam period wat i doing? sleeping, play chess, go cc, etc... until exam day then i do revision. quite funny right? but i dun think it's funny. coz i often delay, i'm always late to my friend's/classmate's reunion. i had delay everything wat i wan to do, 19 yeard old already haven't get driving license, waste money which made me delay from save money for study, and until now i feel i cant help my family as well...... i feel shame of being a human... i had because fear to tell a girl whom i care most, today i know of she have bf(i had feel sad, but how can i do for myself? she may dunno i like her also... but no tear, afterall)...

i know tat girl since form 4, when she join to my school. tat time, i just feel normal like usual. but, after 1 year, i had become often chat with her. when SPM, i had secretly admire（暗恋） to tat girl. i think she dunno tat i had tat feeling to her...

after SPM, i had 1 year didn't contact her, due of i dun have her contact number. ah ha, when i join action, 1 day, i saw her sibblings and her walk parkson, then i simply msg to her relatives, but, she call me suddenly as she saw her relative's msg. after tat, i kinda happy of i could get her contact, in the same time, i also disappointed of she have bf. but after 2 weeks, i have gf, but tat time dun have much feeling of alice.

bout 4 months i had together with alice, she not only even naive, dumb, moreover she keep lying to me tat makes me even hate to her. then i decided to break relation with her, and finally, i even angry of wat she does and i decide to break friendship with her, at 30th of may. while i break relationship with alice, i got contact her and i'm suprised of she had no longer with bf. well, wat can i do tat time? only can treat her good by my sincere.

but today, 2:50pm, i decided to go to visit her and tell her of i likes her, but i didnt tell, because she tell me of she have bf... well, i disappointed again...

until now, 5:25pm, i feel i very tired regarding of it, even i know i not supposed to disappointed or sad of it, but i couldn't control myself...

as conclusion, i really need to take initiatives on everything in the future, i dun wan have any regrets...

its time wo woke up from nightmare

Its been a long time i being other "vincent". sometimes happy and sometimes kinda feel meaningless to having such annoy attitude. i just simply said sad, hurt, etc... actually i had no such things since my mom passed away. after 5 years of tat incident, i seldom drop my tears of small case... ppl thought i easy hurt of break or no gf. actually i not frustrated of these. wat i concern is, TIMING... time not waiting for whoever person. most of my friend already get driving license, study, but i dun have both!? wat am i doing? still working. having blind work...
well, i kinda being tired of work under action... coz salary quite low, and recently sales bad... it's not i didnt try my best to improve my sales. it's just company too straight against of price and cant nego... if not because i lost handsets TWICE, i had already left action long time and now i work under my friend. well, even i tell my family, will they able to help me? i just dun wan to tell them to avoid from worried by them... well, few of my friends know of it... they all also suggest me to change job... sigh......

broken heart... wont b heal unless i get something i desired for

it's been awhile after i break with my 1st love. i thought i can b free from relationship life. unfortunately it repeat and make me more worse...
recently i miss a girl and tried to get closer with her, even she know of she have no feel to me, yet she only test me...
in these 2 weeks, although we only meet only once, i feel of i had love her instead of likes her. after i met her, my mind keep think of her, keep miss her...i miss her until these few days couldn't sleep, begins of physical illness... yesterday she told me of i had to break with her. i really sad of it... i had long time didnt drop my tears... i even didnt have proper conversation with her... we should have long time communication to ensure whether we r match or vise versa. i sad until scold her even she under heavy stress... i reli silly... i should care her and try to less her stress as well... i reli felt sry to her... i reli sad and regret until i cry... even ill... and even couldnt slp...

i am in forbidden well...

hi. it's been a while time didnt update my blog. well, i think i'm suffer more than happy.
in these 1 month, i couldn't slp well, mostly 4 to 5 hours, seldom have nice nap. why i damn stupid? like some1 i shouldn't like, want to tried to forget it but failed. haizzz.... why this time i have such moron mind? why i need to worried some1 who had like others? she also not often to chat with me but more often chat to "him". i don't want to mention here, and i will try to not let more ppl know as well. well, i guess, i nid even better solution...