today, i woke up damn early... i dunno y i could woke up so early... i dun have anything to do in morning, thus i just keep listen songs. well, i dun like those unknown earphones, their sound damn not nice to listen, no bass... i remember of i aqquired the HPM-77 long time ago, it sounds quite nice, yet i lost it last month. sigh...
i had rmb a lot of ppl so suddenly... chi wai, han seng, jun hui, yong ting, shirley, yong seng... quite a lot...
chi wai is my best friend, formerly... he help me a lot. i appreciate of his kindness. well, since last year 10th august, he decide to broke friendship with me. actually i dun wan, but it was coz of my easy anger and like to suspect...
yong ting is my childhood friend, i rmb of last time when standard 3 i really dunno her at all, untill 1 day while i want out to play (every kids likes to go playground or some place where can have fun to play, right?), i saw her went back to her home. at tat time, i have a feeling of i saw hear at somewhere. the afternoon after tat day, i go to school as usual, and i saw her, then i just know of she live quite near my home. when i wanted to ask her, she ask me(i forgot conversation tat time)... she's quite polite and seldom speaking, altough she is not smart girl, but she help me a lot. if she doesn't exist, maybe i even dumb than now, when i sick, she forced herself to finish homework and lend me for revision. of course i do the same thing to her. 2 years had been passed, after my birthday, she no longer friend with me. well, of course untill now i really sad of it and hope to recover the friendship between she and i, but i couldn't, coz i really forgot wat happened tat time, i really hate of 8 years event can be lost like tat!!!
shirley... well, i know her through conversation between han seng, her and me. recently, because of my naive action, i had hurt her feeling. i know she's not suit for me, but i forced myslf to propose her even i still like a girl altough tat girl still dunno it. well, of coz shirley reject. i had hurted her feeling tat time, i wonder how was she right now? was she forgive me? who knows? well, let's dun discuss of shirley.
until today, i realise wat kind of person am i. even 19 years old, i still like a naive, stupid, moron kid. most ppl is try and not forced to try, but, i am person who force myself to try everything. i not a kind of tender person and i not a gentlemen. and i like to keep everything in my mind than speak my problem to every1. coz i dun wan any1 cares of problem i facing. i work almost 2 years without continue study, and i under retail sales line almost 1 year more already, y i dun have much money?? coz i dun behave myself loh! simply waste money to purchased thing to alice, my former gf. although i like tat girl more than alice, but i act i like her, and keep waste money... watever, i kinda regret to know her, coz she keep lying. i really hate ppl lie. now i no longer friend with her, afterall
well, now is 4:00pm. i close my blog here 1st
Tuesday, August 25, 2009
Tuesday, August 18, 2009
time wont wait for us. we need take action asap or else u'll regret
9:00am... is my dreaming time. i had dream my mother... she tell me few of past... well, i had drop tear and woke up after tat.
It's been 5 years i couldn't hear my mother's voice... tat is 1st time, most sad for me from born untill now. when my mother passed, tat time i still a naive kid. a 14 years old youngster should be mature. in these 5 years, i seldom dream of my mom.
in these 5 years, i still have a bad habits - delay. everything delay delay delay. when exam period wat i doing? sleeping, play chess, go cc, etc... until exam day then i do revision. quite funny right? but i dun think it's funny. coz i often delay, i'm always late to my friend's/classmate's reunion. i had delay everything wat i wan to do, 19 yeard old already haven't get driving license, waste money which made me delay from save money for study, and until now i feel i cant help my family as well...... i feel shame of being a human... i had because fear to tell a girl whom i care most, today i know of she have bf(i had feel sad, but how can i do for myself? she may dunno i like her also... but no tear, afterall)...
i know tat girl since form 4, when she join to my school. tat time, i just feel normal like usual. but, after 1 year, i had become often chat with her. when SPM, i had secretly admire（暗恋） to tat girl. i think she dunno tat i had tat feeling to her...
after SPM, i had 1 year didn't contact her, due of i dun have her contact number. ah ha, when i join action, 1 day, i saw her sibblings and her walk parkson, then i simply msg to her relatives, but, she call me suddenly as she saw her relative's msg. after tat, i kinda happy of i could get her contact, in the same time, i also disappointed of she have bf. but after 2 weeks, i have gf, but tat time dun have much feeling of alice.
bout 4 months i had together with alice, she not only even naive, dumb, moreover she keep lying to me tat makes me even hate to her. then i decided to break relation with her, and finally, i even angry of wat she does and i decide to break friendship with her, at 30th of may. while i break relationship with alice, i got contact her and i'm suprised of she had no longer with bf. well, wat can i do tat time? only can treat her good by my sincere.
but today, 2:50pm, i decided to go to visit her and tell her of i likes her, but i didnt tell, because she tell me of she have bf... well, i disappointed again...
until now, 5:25pm, i feel i very tired regarding of it, even i know i not supposed to disappointed or sad of it, but i couldn't control myself...
as conclusion, i really need to take initiatives on everything in the future, i dun wan have any regrets...
It's been 5 years i couldn't hear my mother's voice... tat is 1st time, most sad for me from born untill now. when my mother passed, tat time i still a naive kid. a 14 years old youngster should be mature. in these 5 years, i seldom dream of my mom.
in these 5 years, i still have a bad habits - delay. everything delay delay delay. when exam period wat i doing? sleeping, play chess, go cc, etc... until exam day then i do revision. quite funny right? but i dun think it's funny. coz i often delay, i'm always late to my friend's/classmate's reunion. i had delay everything wat i wan to do, 19 yeard old already haven't get driving license, waste money which made me delay from save money for study, and until now i feel i cant help my family as well...... i feel shame of being a human... i had because fear to tell a girl whom i care most, today i know of she have bf(i had feel sad, but how can i do for myself? she may dunno i like her also... but no tear, afterall)...
i know tat girl since form 4, when she join to my school. tat time, i just feel normal like usual. but, after 1 year, i had become often chat with her. when SPM, i had secretly admire（暗恋） to tat girl. i think she dunno tat i had tat feeling to her...
after SPM, i had 1 year didn't contact her, due of i dun have her contact number. ah ha, when i join action, 1 day, i saw her sibblings and her walk parkson, then i simply msg to her relatives, but, she call me suddenly as she saw her relative's msg. after tat, i kinda happy of i could get her contact, in the same time, i also disappointed of she have bf. but after 2 weeks, i have gf, but tat time dun have much feeling of alice.
bout 4 months i had together with alice, she not only even naive, dumb, moreover she keep lying to me tat makes me even hate to her. then i decided to break relation with her, and finally, i even angry of wat she does and i decide to break friendship with her, at 30th of may. while i break relationship with alice, i got contact her and i'm suprised of she had no longer with bf. well, wat can i do tat time? only can treat her good by my sincere.
but today, 2:50pm, i decided to go to visit her and tell her of i likes her, but i didnt tell, because she tell me of she have bf... well, i disappointed again...
until now, 5:25pm, i feel i very tired regarding of it, even i know i not supposed to disappointed or sad of it, but i couldn't control myself...
as conclusion, i really need to take initiatives on everything in the future, i dun wan have any regrets...
Friday, July 3, 2009
its time wo woke up from nightmare
Its been a long time i being other "vincent". sometimes happy and sometimes kinda feel meaningless to having such annoy attitude. i just simply said sad, hurt, etc... actually i had no such things since my mom passed away. after 5 years of tat incident, i seldom drop my tears of small case... ppl thought i easy hurt of break or no gf. actually i not frustrated of these. wat i concern is, TIMING... time not waiting for whoever person. most of my friend already get driving license, study, but i dun have both!? wat am i doing? still working. having blind work...
well, i kinda being tired of work under action... coz salary quite low, and recently sales bad... it's not i didnt try my best to improve my sales. it's just company too straight against of price and cant nego... if not because i lost handsets TWICE, i had already left action long time and now i work under my friend. well, even i tell my family, will they able to help me? i just dun wan to tell them to avoid from worried by them... well, few of my friends know of it... they all also suggest me to change job... sigh......
well, i kinda being tired of work under action... coz salary quite low, and recently sales bad... it's not i didnt try my best to improve my sales. it's just company too straight against of price and cant nego... if not because i lost handsets TWICE, i had already left action long time and now i work under my friend. well, even i tell my family, will they able to help me? i just dun wan to tell them to avoid from worried by them... well, few of my friends know of it... they all also suggest me to change job... sigh......
Monday, May 25, 2009
broken heart... wont b heal unless i get something i desired for
it's been awhile after i break with my 1st love. i thought i can b free from relationship life. unfortunately it repeat and make me more worse...
recently i miss a girl and tried to get closer with her, even she know of she have no feel to me, yet she only test me...
in these 2 weeks, although we only meet only once, i feel of i had love her instead of likes her. after i met her, my mind keep think of her, keep miss her...i miss her until these few days couldn't sleep, begins of physical illness... yesterday she told me of i had to break with her. i really sad of it... i had long time didnt drop my tears... i even didnt have proper conversation with her... we should have long time communication to ensure whether we r match or vise versa. i sad until scold her even she under heavy stress... i reli silly... i should care her and try to less her stress as well... i reli felt sry to her... i reli sad and regret until i cry... even ill... and even couldnt slp...
recently i miss a girl and tried to get closer with her, even she know of she have no feel to me, yet she only test me...
in these 2 weeks, although we only meet only once, i feel of i had love her instead of likes her. after i met her, my mind keep think of her, keep miss her...i miss her until these few days couldn't sleep, begins of physical illness... yesterday she told me of i had to break with her. i really sad of it... i had long time didnt drop my tears... i even didnt have proper conversation with her... we should have long time communication to ensure whether we r match or vise versa. i sad until scold her even she under heavy stress... i reli silly... i should care her and try to less her stress as well... i reli felt sry to her... i reli sad and regret until i cry... even ill... and even couldnt slp...
Wednesday, November 12, 2008
i am in forbidden well...
hi. it's been a while time didnt update my blog. well, i think i'm suffer more than happy.
in these 1 month, i couldn't slp well, mostly 4 to 5 hours, seldom have nice nap. why i damn stupid? like some1 i shouldn't like, want to tried to forget it but failed. haizzz.... why this time i have such moron mind? why i need to worried some1 who had like others? she also not often to chat with me but more often chat to "him". i don't want to mention here, and i will try to not let more ppl know as well. well, i guess, i nid even better solution...
in these 1 month, i couldn't slp well, mostly 4 to 5 hours, seldom have nice nap. why i damn stupid? like some1 i shouldn't like, want to tried to forget it but failed. haizzz.... why this time i have such moron mind? why i need to worried some1 who had like others? she also not often to chat with me but more often chat to "him". i don't want to mention here, and i will try to not let more ppl know as well. well, i guess, i nid even better solution...
Saturday, October 4, 2008
this is the beginning of the nightmare...
today, 4th of october, afternoon, i fall asleep, because i had a few night couldn't sleep. i had worry, something will be happened...
this morning, due of i didn't sleep, i go out for a walk. after breakfast, my dad had "meeting" with my family again. phew... kinda long time to discuss...
afternoon, i fall asleep without eat lunch. when i sleep, i have a nightmare. in the nightmare, i dream esther. she told me that i am a useless person and she is ashamed to friend with me. in the nightmare, she said she no longer friend with me. its shocked me and made me wake up. when i wake up, its 3:30pm. i had sleep just 1 hours.
after i eat a bread, i go for online. well, the nightmare is really happened, it slightly same as the nightmare i dreamed. esther told me few things on the msn messenger. lately she not comfortable when she chat with me, she said i been changed, etc... then, she tell me that let she and me just become friends, because she and i is not suited to become "brother and sister". even i sad, attept to refuse, but will it make us better? i don't think so, well, i had forced to accept. oh my, my mood is going to worser untill cannot concentrate even cycling to house. while i cycling to house, the stupid car crash to me. lucky my bike is fine, yet, my left arm is pain of scratched while dropped to the rocky land. at that time, i really angry and attempt to hit the driver. when i stand up, i saw roy, then i feel like fighting is not good for mental health, so i stopped it. so, i bring the injured body and sad feeling to friend house. i will go back to house as i finish the post.
I am very sad... was the happy time between us is doomed? was we don't have chance to let me perfom better?
this morning, due of i didn't sleep, i go out for a walk. after breakfast, my dad had "meeting" with my family again. phew... kinda long time to discuss...
afternoon, i fall asleep without eat lunch. when i sleep, i have a nightmare. in the nightmare, i dream esther. she told me that i am a useless person and she is ashamed to friend with me. in the nightmare, she said she no longer friend with me. its shocked me and made me wake up. when i wake up, its 3:30pm. i had sleep just 1 hours.
after i eat a bread, i go for online. well, the nightmare is really happened, it slightly same as the nightmare i dreamed. esther told me few things on the msn messenger. lately she not comfortable when she chat with me, she said i been changed, etc... then, she tell me that let she and me just become friends, because she and i is not suited to become "brother and sister". even i sad, attept to refuse, but will it make us better? i don't think so, well, i had forced to accept. oh my, my mood is going to worser untill cannot concentrate even cycling to house. while i cycling to house, the stupid car crash to me. lucky my bike is fine, yet, my left arm is pain of scratched while dropped to the rocky land. at that time, i really angry and attempt to hit the driver. when i stand up, i saw roy, then i feel like fighting is not good for mental health, so i stopped it. so, i bring the injured body and sad feeling to friend house. i will go back to house as i finish the post.
I am very sad... was the happy time between us is doomed? was we don't have chance to let me perfom better?
Tuesday, January 1, 2008
happy new year~ gt a lot things to say...
finally 2007 is went... last year gt a lot bad things happened to me, make me few sad; of coz gt a few happy things to me. tis holiday, the most happy things is can make friend with siew yee & charmaine. the 2 girls is quite cheerul, bt charmaine is a bit naughty. among 2 of them, i like siew yee, coz she talkative, i can communicate with her easier compare with other girl. although nt know much bout 2 of them, i think i start to miss them, coz i cant meet them as school start.
yesterday, i work at sungei buloh, with zul(waiter), choon sang(waiter), charmaine(waiter) and mrs. peggy(chef). bout 5pm, we arrived there and start to arrange the table & chair while peg ready to cook. 7pm, when almost done arrange, suddenly the host tel us to rearrange the chair due the table is nt enuf. coz tat, when we arrange, peg keep scold us. haizzzzzzz... at tat time i feel tat i useless... b4 party start, we had discuss tat i clear table, charmaine in charge of ready soft drinks and ice-kacang & choon sang ready laksa. the party start at 8pm. when bout 9pm, when charmaine is nt enuf glass cup to ready soft drink, i go to collect glass cup & wash them. coz i wash glass cup and choon sang help charmaine ready ice-kacng while ppl nid laksa, the peg kept scold bout us. haizzz... all ppl nid help 1 mar, why peg didnt try to be in other people's shoe and kept scold us??? b4 countdown, i keep think bout last year(2007):
cw is quite helpful, sometimes i think tat i create trouble to him. juz tis holiday, i had lend bout rm50 from him for my own purpose. han seng ar? he still didnt change. jun hui is still naughty as when he form 1. i still remember his nickname "dog king". hahahaaaa. i remembered 1USAHA friend eg. lee joseph, lee jun seng, albert mah &, etc... as i remember alicia, i started to cry infront of many ppl. form1 memories is unforgetful to me. i think form5 is most bad year for me. i cant solve anything i wanted to solve and kept delay the problem till SPM, tats y i cant concentrate in BM & sejarah exam... bout other subject ar? didnt affect maths at all, the rest a bit affect... those problem & the SPM make me even sad till cried summore...
hope my life can be better...
yesterday, i work at sungei buloh, with zul(waiter), choon sang(waiter), charmaine(waiter) and mrs. peggy(chef). bout 5pm, we arrived there and start to arrange the table & chair while peg ready to cook. 7pm, when almost done arrange, suddenly the host tel us to rearrange the chair due the table is nt enuf. coz tat, when we arrange, peg keep scold us. haizzzzzzz... at tat time i feel tat i useless... b4 party start, we had discuss tat i clear table, charmaine in charge of ready soft drinks and ice-kacang & choon sang ready laksa. the party start at 8pm. when bout 9pm, when charmaine is nt enuf glass cup to ready soft drink, i go to collect glass cup & wash them. coz i wash glass cup and choon sang help charmaine ready ice-kacng while ppl nid laksa, the peg kept scold bout us. haizzz... all ppl nid help 1 mar, why peg didnt try to be in other people's shoe and kept scold us??? b4 countdown, i keep think bout last year(2007):
cw is quite helpful, sometimes i think tat i create trouble to him. juz tis holiday, i had lend bout rm50 from him for my own purpose. han seng ar? he still didnt change. jun hui is still naughty as when he form 1. i still remember his nickname "dog king". hahahaaaa. i remembered 1USAHA friend eg. lee joseph, lee jun seng, albert mah &, etc... as i remember alicia, i started to cry infront of many ppl. form1 memories is unforgetful to me. i think form5 is most bad year for me. i cant solve anything i wanted to solve and kept delay the problem till SPM, tats y i cant concentrate in BM & sejarah exam... bout other subject ar? didnt affect maths at all, the rest a bit affect... those problem & the SPM make me even sad till cried summore...
hope my life can be better...
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